Stupid Blonde Jokes

Here are some hilarious blonde joke from the book ‘100% Blonde Jokes‘ by R. Cristi

Non-Stop Flight On a plane flight from Seattle to Chicago, a blonde was sitting in economy class. About half way through the flight, she got up and moved to an empty seat in first class. A flight attendant who observed this, went over to her and politely explained that she had to move back to economy class because that was what her ticket was for. The blonde replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Chicago and I’m staying right here.” After several attempts to explain to the blonde why she had to return to economy class, the flight attendant gave up. She went to the cockpit and explained the situation to the pilot and co-pilot. The co-pilot said, “Let me try.” He went up to the blonde and politely tried to explain to her why she needed to return to her seat in economy class. But the blonde only replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Chicago and I’m staying right here.” Frustrated, the co-pilot returned to the cockpit. He suggested that perhaps they should have the airline call the police and have her arrested when they land. “Wait a minute,” said the pilot. “Did you say she’s blonde? I can handle this. My wife is a blonde. I speak Blonde.” So he went up to the woman sitting in first class and whispered something in her ear. “I’m sorry,” said the blonde, and she promptly got up and returned to her seat in economy class. “What did you say to her?” ask the astonished flight attendant and co-pilot. To which the pilot replied, “I just told her that first class isn’t going to Chicago.”

At the Bus Stop Two blonds are waiting at a bus stop. When a bus pulls up and opens the door, one of the blonds leans inside and asks the bus driver: “Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?” The bus driver shakes his head and says, “No, I’m sorry.” Hearing this, the other blond leans inside, smiles, and twitters: “Will it take ME?”

The Mini Skirt In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight mini skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn’t. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step, and, once again, much to her dismay, she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind a third time to unzip a little more and again was unable to make the step. About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned to the would be Samaritan and yelled, “How dare you touch my body! I don’t even know who you are!” The Texan smiled and drawled, “Well, ma’am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends!”

Speeding Ticket A blonde was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over. The policeman walks up to the blonde and says “Excuse m’am, could I please see your driving license and registration.” The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”

Blonde Interview A blonde airhead goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer starts with the basics. “So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?” The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying “Ehhhh… 22!” The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. “And can you tell us your height, please?” The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces “Five foot two!” This isn’t looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics; something the interviewee won’t have to count, measure, or look up. “Just to confirm for our records, your name please?” The airhead bobs her head from side to side for about ten seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying “MANDY!” The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks “What in the world were you doing when I asked you your name?” “Ohhhh, that!” replies the airhead, “I was just running through that song – ‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear…’”

Read more blonde jokes from the best blonde jokes book ever: 100% Blonde Jokes. Find more now!

Catalog

Articles

- Hobbies
- Pets
- Fishing
- Hunting